


None, Nope, Nada

by KlavierWrites



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Because Kamoshida, Demisexuality, F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Just when you thought I couldn't get more asexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 20:45:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13395891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KlavierWrites/pseuds/KlavierWrites
Summary: Yusuke is struggling to paint desire. Ryuji's overcompensating. Haru can't stop looking at Makoto.Or, what if all the Phantom Thieves were asexual and/or aromantic?





	None, Nope, Nada

**Author's Note:**

> A few quick warnings/notes:  
> \- All these drabbles are about being asexual or aromantic, even when I don't say the word.  
> \- Ann not knowing if she's ace because of trauma doesn't make her less ace.  
> \- If it's unclear, Haru is demisexual.  
> \- If anyone can think of a better title, please share, because I'm drawing a blank.

With a frustrated sigh, Yusuke pulled another sheet of paper from his sketchbook and crumpled it. Long past worrying about wasted supplies, he threw the ball in the general direction of the trash can. 

_Desire_ had been a failure, but the concept was sound. He had thought if he focused inwards, tried to express his own desires, he would do better. So far, he was stuck struggling to work out what they were. 

He put pencil to paper once again and ended up with a spiral design reminiscent of his first piece. He didn’t like it. 

He texted Akira. 

_> How can I paint desire if I can’t seem to channel my own? _

_> I’m not even sure I know what I desire. _

The response came just minutes later. 

_> > Ann?_

He sighed. 

_> Ann is an aesthetic marvel. But I wouldn’t say I desire her. I want to paint her, that is all. _

Another sketch balled up and in the trash. He stared at the blank page until his phone vibrated again. 

_> > Why can’t you paint about your desire to paint her?_

He was halfway through typing out a dismissal of this idea when it occurred to him. He didn’t have sexual desires, the kind that were easy to pin down, but he had other ones. The desire create art, to help his friends, to solve the mysteries of the Metaverse.

He abandoned his sketchbook. This was something to try channelling straight onto the canvas. 

-

Futaba would like the record to state she was dragged into this “Girl’s Night” under false pretences. She would definitely _not_ like the record to state that she was actually kind of enjoying herself, even though she was. 

It was like something from a movie. The four of them were sitting on the floor in Futaba’s room, surrounded by pillows and snacks, talking about boys. Well, kind of. 

“I can’t picture myself ever dating a man,” Makoto was saying. The gravitas of the statement was ruined slightly by the huge bowl of popcorn in her lap. 

Ann screwed up her face. “I know what you mean. Kamoshida has put me off dating for life.” 

Haru nodded. “If I’m being honest, now my engagement has been called off, I can only see myself dating girls.” 

Makoto immediately choked on popcorn, red in the face. Her face got even redder when Haru started rubbing soothing circles on her back. “Sorry,” she said, once she’d gotten ahold of herself, “it went down the wrong way.”

“What about you, Futaba? Men or women?” asked Anne, wisely changing the subject.

Futaba shook her head violently. “Uh-uh. Not interested in dating. No thank you.”

Ann tilted her head. “Not right now, or not ever?”

“Not ever,” said Futaba. If Haru could come out like it was no big deal, so could she. “I’m actually asexual and aromantic. And that’s the first time I’ve said that out loud.”

Makoto clapped and Ann held out a hand for her to high five, which she did, even though she had to lean across their little circle to do it. 

“You go, girl!” said Ann. It should have been cringey, and it kind of was, but Futaba was grinning all the same. 

-

After Kamoshida, things changed for Ann. Or maybe they stayed the same, but she looked at them differently. Because before Kamoshida sex and relationships had been this abstract thing. She’d never had a boyfriend, and while she knew boys (and some girls) in her year had looked at her with some kind of sexual interest, she’d never looked that way at anyone else. 

But then there was Kamoshida, and he was pretty open about the way he viewed her. Every little comment about her breasts or her hair or her body seemed to crawl under her skin and leave her feeling sick and frightened. Every time he touched her, or even came near her, she wanted to flinch away. 

And now whenever she thought about having sex, or someone made any kind of comment about her body, she got that same uncomfortable, skin-crawly feeling. And she didn’t know if it was Kamoshida’s fault or if it had always been there, because Kamoshida was the first. 

\- 

Makoto confused Haru, because before they had become friends everything was very simple. Haruhad a fiancé who she didn’t love, which was to be expected because historically she didn’t fall in love or get crushes or anything like that. 

Makoto confused Haru because she’d sit for hours and garden with her and Haru would find herself _looking._ Normally, nothing could tear her attention from the plants and the soil but the way Makoto’s hair fell into her eyes did. 

Makoto confused Haru because Haru had never felt any desire to have sex, but Makoto made her want to reach out and touch anyway. 

- 

The girl in Shinjuku who slapped him had a mean backhand. His cheek stung like a bitch, and even worse, Akira had to run off to his part time job, and left him to patch himself up and take the train home alone.

The train swayed sideways and Ryuji swung with it, holding onto the rail. Some woman on the seat nearest him was giving him serious side-eye. Probably because he’d recently been hit in the face by someone wearing a seriously pointy ring. Well, at least it wasn’t bleeding anymore. 

He’d deserved that slap, honestly. He’d been going for charming and flirtatious, but he knew he was going too far even as he said it. 

Ann said he was overcompensating for something once. Truth is, she was kind of right. He wasn’t gay, though that’d probably be easier to explain. He was kind of just… nothing. 

He got off at his stop and walked back to his apartment, where his mum was waiting for him.

“What happened to you?” she asked.

“I got slapped in the face.” 

“Did you deserve it?” 

He shrugged. “Probably.”

 -

 Sae was home right on time. Which is to say she was late, but predictably so. Makoto had everything ready. The food was on the table almost the moment Sae walked through the door, she’d printed out her research, planned her speech, and she even had a contingency plan if this all went horribly wrong. 

They sat across from each other at the small table, and Makoto made it through about five minutes of small talk about school and Sae’s work before she put her chopsticks down. 

“I have something to tell you.” 

Sae raised her eyebrows. “Something good?” 

“Um,” said Makoto, “kind of neutral, I think? But it’s a big deal.” 

Sae didn’t say anything, just looked at her steadily, and Makoto took a moment to adjust her skirt, collect herself. She’d brainstormed what she’d say with Haru and Futaba, and practiced her speech in the mirror. She had a flowchart of responses for almost every bad thing Sae could say. She could do this. 

“I’m asexual.” 

Sae blinked. “Oh,” she said. “What is that, exactly?” 

Makoto launched into the explanation she’d memorised, and Sae nodded and hummed in all the right places. When Makoto went to duck under the table for the statistics she’d printed out, Sae grabbed her arm lightly. 

“It’s ok, Makoto. I get it now. Thank you for explaining it to me. And you know I’d support you no matter what you were.” 

“Right,” said Makoto, “thank you.”

“Is there anything else?” 

Makoto hesitated. There was, but she hadn’t planned that speech yet. Then, she’d probably never get another opening like this. She swallowed. “I’m also gay.”

Sae smiled. “Thank you for telling me. Can we expect Haru over for dinner any time soon?”

“Wait,” said Makoto, “you _knew?”_

- 

“So you’re really not dating any of the girls in that little group of yours?” asked Sojiro conversationally. 

Akira shook his head. It was closing time at Leblanc, and Sojiro was feeling chatty.

“Any of the guys?” 

Akira shot him a look, and Sojiro laughed. “I’m not judging, just curious. So no girlfriend, and no boyfriend.” 

“No,” said Akira, continuing to scrub down the counter. 

“And you don’t want one, right?” 

He looked up at Sojiro, mouth hanging open. “You’re the first person to figure that out.”

Sojiro chuckled. “It’s not exactly a difficult conclusion to reach. Have you ever tried talking to your friends about it?”

“Not really,” said Akira.

Sojiro threw a tea towel over his shoulder and turned attention to the mugs in the sink. “Well, you should give it a go. They might surprise you.” 


End file.
